Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
