and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
