I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
