Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He felt like a one man threesome
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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