I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
