Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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