he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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