I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
