Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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