Yo dont text me then not text me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
