yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
third nipple confirmed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
