My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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