Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
