That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize