he shaved USA in his pubs
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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