that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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