What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
