I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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