You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
