problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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