halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
