Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize