fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
