Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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