Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
