you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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