Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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