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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
