No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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