I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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