He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The power of my boobs compel you
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
