a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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