i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's rum buckets o'clock
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
