Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize