I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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