Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
