It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
