I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had to cum in my sink.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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