If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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