I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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