Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
