He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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