You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
