I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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