that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.