id be glad to
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my shit smells like andre
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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