I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
