He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
no, he came in my armpit
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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