I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You made out with two different species that night
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
