Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
