You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
