brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
