and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
