Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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