We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
