Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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