I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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