normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
A bitchslap is in order.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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