Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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