i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
