i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
