508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
