I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
