i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
