That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
