Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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