i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
