But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
